“Maybe This Was Meant to Be”

I was studiously ignoring the injection the nurse was preparing. “Why did you keep me waiting for so long?” I asked.

I get an injection at Holtorf Medical Group every week. Typically, I call before leaving home, and the nurses have me in and out of the clinic within fifteen minutes. On this occasion they kept me waiting for thirty minutes before we even began. Nancy explained that Dr. Holtorf himself was up from Los Angeles and as a result everybody was busier than usual.

“Kent Holtorf is here? I’d like to talk to him for a minute.” I’d just tried Brain Training and I think it was making me bolder!

A few minutes later, I was shaking hands with him in the waiting area.

“Dr. Holtorf”, I said, “I just want you to know that discovering your website was a life-changing event for me.”

I’d expected it to be “thank you” and “goodbye” after that but he peppered me with questions.

“When did you get sick?”


“How did it start?”

I told him how I had ended up in a hospital complaining that I felt too tired to climb the stairs. It turned out my hemoglobin was 3.9. (The normal range for women is about 12 – 15 and 10 is considered the minimum to sustain life.) I spent the next nine months going through various uncomfortable interventions so I would be strong enough for surgery. When I woke up from the general anesthetic, the surgeons told me they had had to do a myomectomy rather than the planned laparotomy because thirty five fibroid tumors were removed. “But”, one surgeon had commented, “I don’t know whether it’s the yoga or the way you eat – your internal organs are in amazing condition”.

The problem was, now I couldn’t find the strength to move my hand even an inch. I’ve been making my way back ever since.

Dr. Holtorf wanted to know what had helped me. I explained that in 2006/2007, I was treated by Dr. Robert O. Young, author of “The pH Miracle”. The protocol included alkaline water, a strict diet and infra-red heat. I improved dramatically during this time but after about five months my improvement plateaued. Chelation Therapy had depleted my hard won strength but improved my cognitive function. Finally, following Jacob Teitelbaum’s research on my own in 2008 gave me significant improvement at first but I had plateaued again.

Holtorf told me a dizzying list of things he wanted to change in my current protocol including having all the Holtorf Medical doctors work with me as a team. He also told me about a patient he’d had who was 42 and lived with his parents because he hadn’t been able to work for 22 years. After warning me that you never know what is going to work with a particular CFS patient, I agreed to trying the gamma globulin injections that had helped the 42 year old man. He even talked about one aspect of CFS being that you often look like you’re fine …

Apparently, a likely possibility in my case is something called hypercoagulation (I love the fact that he was giving me information I didn’t already know!) It could be the reason for the cycles of plateauing and deterioration I’ve been experiencing. It is resolved with Heparin (Remember Dennis Quaid’s twins?) followed by treatments similar to what I was already doing except they now have the chance to work properly.

The second, unplanned injection was a lot more painful than the first. But I was left with a positive memory because it was immediately afterwards that Dr. Holtorf uttered the words, “Maybe this was meant to be”.

I was stunned. I had never heard a medical doctor talk like this before. My mind was whirling. “If I may be so bold”, I said, “I’ve decided to start a blog about my recovery. May I interview you for a podcast?”

“Sure,” he replied.

This blog is about the surprising things I’ve learned and experienced while pursuing recovery from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis a.k.a. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Fibromyalgia (CFS/FMS). My journey hasn’t just been about pills, needles and strange diets. It’s also been an intellectual journey, an emotional journey and, dare I say, a spiritual journey of facing impossible obstacles. The rules of my life have changed.

10 thoughts on ““Maybe This Was Meant to Be”

  1. Wow! I always knew you could write, but this and your previous piece blow me away!! Since we were both what, 5, I’ve known you to be a fighter. You prove this now more than ever. Please know you have my love, support, and positive thoughts always.
    Peace and Blessings!

  2. Isn’t it shocking how hard you have to work to get the medical system to help you? Isn’t it shocking that iatrogenic illness one of the top causes of death (gyatazen.wordpress.com). It’s awesome that you’ve found talented and committed MDs to support your healing. Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. Remember Bola, everything you are doing is making you stronger and stronger, even on days when in doesn’t feel like it………..what an incredible journey you’ve taken so far. I look forward to reading future posts!!!

  4. You’ve conveyed an overwhelming, frightening situation so lucidly and compactly! I think your account will help many people find a way forward when doctors cannot explain what is wrong.

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